Giving a toast is
a responsibility that puts fear in the speaking hearts of most members of a
wedding party. While it's not usually something that is particularly long or
involved, it's public speaking (which doesn't sit well with many people) and
really puts people on the spot.
If you are
planning a wedding and know that most members of this wedding party are hams
who won't mind the whole "public speaking" thing, then by all means
keep the toasts traditional with dad, the best man and others taking their
expected turns at the microphone.
But if you're
looking for something different, either because you want to save putting people
on the spot, or you simply want to do something different and fun, read on.
First, you can certainly
take the whole toast thing off the agenda if you wish. There are no rules
requiring a toast at any wedding. Weddings should be unique events and reflect
the personalities of the bride and groom.
But if you want
to do something a little different, there are options. You can go the video
route, which asks people to essentially make a toast on camera and then the
video is given to the bride and groom later. This isn't a particularly unique
idea, but it does solve the issue of not wanting to put people on the spot and
still gives everyone a chance to say something special to the bride and groom.
If your guest
list includes many outgoing people then consider "pass the
microphone". This can work in several ways. You can either be silly with
it, or deadly serious. Most people like silly. Say dad takes the microphone
first. His last name ends with T (so, let's say dad's last name is Smith). He
must find someone whose first name begins with a T (Tom? Tony? Tina? Theresa?)
and pass the microphone to that person, who then gives a toast.
This method of
giving toasts does put people on the spot (certainly before the fun begins you
can warn them so if they are really uncomfortable, they can escape to the
restroom or bar) but it can also be a lot of fun. Getting people when they
least expect it and then asking them to remember something funny or meaningful
about the bride and groom can result in interesting, funny and truthful
results.
You might also
decide that one person at each table be required to give a toast. Number the
tables and at various intervals, have the MC or DJ call a number, which will
require guests at that table to decide amongst themselves who will give the
toast at that table. Certainly, more than one person can if they like, but there
will likely be at least one ham at each table who will enjoy standing up and
toasting the newlyweds.
Say you have
plenty of public speakers in the group, and finding willing toast participants
won't be a problem. But you think the subject matter might be. There's an easy
solution to this problem. You can provide open-ended topics for the toast
speakers. Say you are providing an "open mike" toast arrangement,
where anyone can request the microphone and offer a toast. The DJ, MC or
someone else in the wedding party (perhaps the maid of honor or best man) can
offer the speaker a surprise topic, which might be pulled from a champagne
flute or drawn out of the floral arrangement on the head table. There might be
slips of paper to choose, or just one sheet of paper with several ideas.
The speaker might
choose to finish this sentence, "I remember when (groom's name here) was a
little boy, he always ..." or answer this question, "When was (insert
bride's name here) at her silliest? Tell us the story". You might have to
give each speaker a minute or two to collect their thoughts, but you're sure to
have some interesting stories, some unique anecdotes and some different
perspectives on the bride and groom.
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